Disclaimer: Any style of parenting that fits your family lifestyle and what you feel works best….is best. Only the parents decisions toward the style of parentingtheir children will be right and work for them.
This is not meant to persuade you or to make you feel like you’re not doing your job. I have written this for anyone who is interested in the elements of attachment parenting and how I choose to adapt it.
I will refrain from referring to any medical case studies in regards to attachment parenting and will allow you to do this yourself by researching the the links below:
The Four Principles:
“AP for infants involves “child-centered” rather than “parent-centered” parenting. The parents read the cues of their babies and by doing so, provide that safe haven so important from attachment theory’s point of view. They are also responsive to their children, as suggested in Baumrind’s work on parenting style…”-Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph.D. (Psychology Today).
There are four principles to attachment parenting. Attachment parenting does not require anything, but rather provides a label to techniques that is used to foster a strong and attached parent/child relationship.
Don’t plan cosleeping if you like to move about and comfortably change positions, because this is nearly impossible with a baby in bed; and I’m sure it will get a lot more difficult with a toddler. But I don’t care as long as I don’t have to get up in the middle of the night to nurse in another room. Since I am breastfeeding, and love waking up to see and kiss my baby… this works the best for us. I don’t even have to get up if Weston wants to nurse at 2am I simply breastfeed laying down. Here is how you do it safely:
Why I wasn’t told this after having a C-Section…I will never know. I discoved co-sleeping without the side-bed cod online and after Weston was 2 months old I felt confident with placing him in the middle of the bed and using the side cot as a safety barrier or a space to place him when my husband and I needed a good stretch out.
I really enjoy Co-Sleeping and feel I am there for Weston when he wakes and needs me there. In the morning my husband and I give him lots of kisses and hugs. I have also noticed I have much more morning energy when I can sit up in bed with Weston, watch the news and have a cup of coffee.
Resources on how to safely co-sleep:
2. Feeding on Demand:
Being in tune with Weston’s needs is especially important to me because, to me that means a happier baby.
I do not put Weston on a schedule. I am here whenever and wherever he needs me. He normally eats and sleeps around the same time every day but I am not here to put his daily habits in a planner and expect him to stick to it. Some days he has three naps and some days he has one. He feeds around the same time but I never look at a clock but I base when he will be hungry next from the last time he ate.
Feeding on demand has also made traveling and taking Weston out very easy. I am not afraid to feed on a train, at a restaurant or at a playground. It has taken time to become confident but a screaming child is much worse than someone seeing a nipple.
This is also adaptable with bottle feeding and when weening to solids.
3. Holding and Touching- Baby Wearing
Keeping Weston near to me has proven to be the only way to have him sleep soundly while traveling. I often wear him to events and when going on walks around our neighborhood. I own two types of carriers: The Moby (favourite)- stretchy cloth and most comfortable. And The Egro 360- which is the more durable and “outdoors” carrier favourited by my husband.
I love to wear Weston and since birth I have felt this to be my favourite way to hold him. I can be hands free and continue about my day with Weston close by for me to comfort him on demand. I can kiss his head and soothe him…all while giving him the perspective of what it is like to be a walking, upright human.
Baby Wearing Resources:
The most difficult of the four. Learning the difference between a tired cry and a full on upset cry. And there is a defined cry for each I have found in Weston. When first learning I wouldn’t let Weston cry without rushing to him and rocking him or nursing him to sleep. While this still works…afternoon naps are more difficult when trying to work or get things done around the house. After struggling from responding straight away I learned Weston sometimes needed 10 minutes to calm down and fall asleep.
However if he is having a hard time after feeding, changing, and singing to him: then I will let him “talk to himself” if he is not tearful and full on crying at 10 minute sections…checking up on him and comforting him… usually by the second check he is fast asleep.
This is the hardest tequnique to use but it honestly depends on how you feel and what you can handle. Personally. I want to cry when Weston cries, and I much rather stop what I’m doing and sit and rock together to help him sleep.
These are parenting techniques not parenting rules.
Please let me know if your an attached parent, interested in learning more about AP or let me know what your favourite technique is!